61. Life, Wisdom, and Spirituality with Christian Reeve

[00:00:00] Hello and welcome to Pursuit Of Infinity, a podcast where we explore the depths of human consciousness and delve into the fascinating world of psychedelics. In this week's episode we welcome returning guest Christian Reeve, Christian as a podcaster, writer, actor, voice actor, musician, poet, marketing professional and YouTuber from the UK. He's what I would consider a polymath of sorts which was the topic of conversation the last time he was on the show

[00:00:30] episode 9. Here on episode 61 we take a deep dive into our spiritual journeys, the art of podcasting and the meaningful life lessons that have shaped our individual experiences.

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[00:01:43] Now with all of that out of the way, thank you so much for listening and I hope you enjoy this week's episode.

[00:01:58] Hey everyone, welcome to pursuit of infinity this week's guest is returning from I think episode nine way, way, way back.

[00:02:13] So everybody please help me to welcome Christian Reeve and Christian thank you so much for joining me.

[00:02:20] I always are not a privilege to get to speak with you Josh you know that thank you very much.

[00:02:25] Yeah man, I appreciate it dude and you know we've been on each other's shows going back and forth keeping up with each other and you know we've been friends now for a little over a year.

[00:02:35] You know I've been seeing you know as your podcast is growing and as you're growing older it seems to me that you're on a path of like self growth you know self development physically mentally emotionally and even spiritually so am I right in saying that.

[00:02:57] Yes, I think so.

[00:03:00] I don't know if I told you this the last time I was here but back when I used to live in Estonia abroad in Europe years ago I experienced you know something akin to like spiritual awakening you know I know around here that's totally fine but to some people listen they'd be like what's the sky on about.

[00:03:22] But you do everything shifted to be honest the way I looked at life and I think that's why it's important to travel anyway just to kind of gain a perspective of how the world.

[00:03:33] Not only looks different smells different et cetera but feels different wherever you go it's like a shift i'm sure wherever you live in the world you've noticed even a shift such as like north versus south or something like that you know it's it's like everywhere you go it feels different.

[00:03:50] And that started back then that was between the years 2017 to 2020 early 2020.

[00:03:59] Then I moved back and I've been in the UK ever since and various different things have happened throughout the last three years and I think particularly in the last six months the biggest things i've stopped doing which I don't know that it shifted for me is I quit drinking.

[00:04:19] I don't smoke i don't intake anything anymore I just train try to eat well and try to actually there's a few other things i've also paid more close attention to not only what i eat and stuff but like you know who who i'm associated with and you know maybe the types of content that i'm.

[00:04:47] You know either partaking in or consuming or whatever like i think it's it's okay to try a lot of different things and it's good to have a varied life.

[00:04:57] But sooner or later you're going to have to kind of spend more time focusing on and partaking and things that fit more closely with who you are as a person and what you vibe with and i'm sure anyone listening has heard the expression you know like.

[00:05:15] Oh you got to find your people you know you got to find your cooling etc i think for me in the last maybe years six months certainly that started to click more and bigger than that i've started to acquiesce to have started to accept him be like okay well this is who i am and this is what i am supposed to offer let's run with it and i'll give one quick example before we continue.

[00:05:43] So a shift i did recently was i changed all of my content to focus more on you putting forward like positive messages uplifting stuff advice whatever i'll still post silly stuff here and there you know but mostly it's just like.

[00:06:02] Life lessons life experience often just snippets from like say a live stream where maybe i was talking about a particular thing and i just heard that and as a maybe other people will get something from that and and i've said this to you off air before but i feel like shows like hours.

[00:06:23] You know we probably began them just because we were passionate about making a podcast talking about staff meeting people but then there's a point where you keep doing it it keeps clicking it keeps getting better and then you realize what you're creating is bigger than yourself and that's the kind of position i'm out right now.

[00:06:45] Yeah i didn't mention earlier if anyone didn't listen to our last episode that you are a podcaster voice over actor actor you do a lot a lot of things.

[00:06:57] Try to do so before we get to that i actually want to put touchback on the spiritual experience that you had this spiritual awakening so where were you traveling and what exactly happened there.

[00:07:09] So i was living in Estonia i moved there.

[00:07:14] Tail end of 2017 i told the story a few times over on the net but it's first time i've told it here so here you go.

[00:07:22] I finished university i was stuck as to the ever familiar story i need a job been in order to get the job i need the experience and so begins to catch 22 circle.

[00:07:35] And listen you know i was i was working full time in a job i hated and i'd been doing it for close to two years at that point and.

[00:07:44] I think i know you've really thought when i graduated like oh well it all changes now right now is the beginning of the rest of your life.

[00:07:51] And to be honest i never really wanted to do marketing i just kind of.

[00:07:54] I gave up on my dreams years ago prior to that i let people get in my ear and tell me you know stop chasing pipe dreams kid and just you know get a real job so.

[00:08:07] Because nothing was going well for me at that point in my life this is prior to university i accepted it did the degree three years later.

[00:08:16] I can't find work and i'm working for minimum wage and i'm like this sucks what is this i did this degree to get out of this situation.

[00:08:26] And at the time i was dating a girl from Estonia and you know i just remember very vividly like sitting down in a coffee shop and just kind of saying to her like i can't do this anymore i don't know about you but i can't do this anymore like i just can't work in this place anymore and live this way.

[00:08:44] And she floated the idea very briefly about temporarily going there.

[00:08:50] Our plan and this shows how naive and stupid we were was oh we'll just go there we'll save some money up and then we'll come back right now.

[00:09:01] I hate to say it if your plan is to move like from the UK to Europe generally speaking you're not going to make loads of money i mean it depends where you go maybe if you go Germany or somewhere like that.

[00:09:14] There might be opportunities but most European countries it's like it would be the other way around really you'd come to the UK to meet your money maybe or something like that.

[00:09:24] But again this is always shifting at the time though i think Estonia or at least tal in the capital only really have like IT going for it everything else is just kind of like it is what it is you know.

[00:09:37] Point is there wasn't any money to be made there really at that point so it's like i don't know what we were thinking but i guess it was more kind of like sit down, recollect our thoughts plan something come back i think that was kind of what we wanted to go for.

[00:09:53] But you know it's like three months turns into six months turns into whatever and.

[00:09:59] I lived in a lot of different places while i was there.

[00:10:03] And this is where i can sort of talk more about the spiritual side of things so.

[00:10:08] I didn't just live in the capital i also lived in the south of the country different parts of the country traveled all around and i also lived for quite a bit on one of the islands off the coast of Estonia called sarima to those two islands you've got humor and sarima.

[00:10:28] And they're very similar to the mainland but just you know that islands people are a little bit different as you'd expect in this different overall locations.

[00:10:39] The Estonians are very spiritual people in general.

[00:10:44] They have a lot of like belief systems and stuff that dates back traditions that dates back like hundreds of years.

[00:10:51] And i was witness to a lot of that and i was very lucky in despite of where things were at my life not everything was great it was quite hard times but.

[00:11:01] I was able to be to witness things i think maybe your average like.

[00:11:08] Person tourist if you want to call it that wouldn't really see you know and that i was very grateful for that i never took that for granted despite what might have been going on in my personal life and everything.

[00:11:21] Things were always off balance but i always made the most of them even back then.

[00:11:29] I think the point where it started to click as far as from a spiritual perspective is how i felt when i went to certain places and how i learned to understand that have a greater appreciation for certain things so everything from eating drinking spending time with people.

[00:11:51] And just having time to think you know crazy thought right but sitting and being with your thoughts at a lot of time to think.

[00:12:02] It wasn't always good it was often quite dark and there was some extremely dark times and.

[00:12:09] And i think a lot of the work from a spiritual standpoint was splitting two points so firstly was a lot of the stuff i was experiencing as far as from a psychic perspective knowledge i was acquiring people i've met certain forests i went to i'm i recall going to a particular forest at one point where there were the tallest trees i'd ever seen in my entire life.

[00:12:36] And you know sometimes you go to a certain place and you walk in there and the energy just hits you in a different way and you can't really explain it but you just know that it's a special kind of feeling like a special like a sacred place maybe maybe the sort of feeling you might feel if you were to go to a monastery.

[00:12:55] I felt it a lot when i was in that country i think and i sort of fell in love with different parts of the country music like i hear and see things about the country i keep in touch with friends and stuff and it's part of me it's it's always be a part of me and it's kind of bittersweet

[00:13:16] like a partner that you know you know like someone you really love and you and you choose to break up or something and then it's kind of the end of it you know.

[00:13:29] You don't ever really stop loving them you just kind of put them in that like box and you move on and you know every time you open the box it hurts but it's i don't know it's

[00:13:42] I owe that country a lot i owe the people a lot i think i built a career there in marketing i think just a bit of advice to everyone that's listening on the side note if you get opportunities to travel especially to live in another country take it don't be afraid just go and live somewhere even if it's for six months a year whatever just do it.

[00:14:10] I can tell you now you're always but look back on it fun me and of course i'll experience is will ultimately shape that.

[00:14:19] But don't know that the tell you you know because good and bad things can happen wherever you go.

[00:14:24] You can never leave your hometown and have the worst life ever you know.

[00:14:29] Don't be afraid to live life just go out there and do things because that's what life is about it's about experiences that will shape you and make you into the best.

[00:14:39] possible version of yourself you can be.

[00:14:43] So to bring about what i was saying about spiritual perspective that's where it all began and that's why i truly understood.

[00:14:51] What it means to kind of be in touch with spirituality and then when i came back to the UK.

[00:14:57] I think part of me was worried that maybe i'd fall out touch with that you know because the UK is a very different vibe and feeling to Europe.

[00:15:09] It's just different you can i think when you when you go to places that are more rural in the UK like villages and see some towns or stuff like that people are a little more in touch with like.

[00:15:22] Maybe things from a spiritual perspective I don't know i don't want to say it's really spiritual but it's like when i think of like British culture for example you know i think more of like.

[00:15:38] How people come together and do certain things you know like i'm sure like you've heard all the jokes about how we like to sit and have tea and stuff but maybe what you don't always hear about is the fact that like.

[00:15:49] When we come together just to have a cup of tea or whatever it actually is like a comfort thing a lot of the time you know it's not just about enjoying tea it's like.

[00:16:00] If you're on your own or you know if you go visit someone the first thing that probably says i'll put the kettle on like we'll have tea coffee whatever like it's.

[00:16:09] It's all about connection and being with someone and I think there's a lot of spirituality here if you'd lower to look for it and stuff and.

[00:16:17] To be honest when i came back I'd spent a long time resenting the UK and I think a part of it was.

[00:16:23] I just didn't feel like I could really connect with people here I didn't quite understand.

[00:16:29] Like I knew it was part of me because if you leave your homeland for any extended period of time you'll start to realize and understand that it's a part of you you can't escape it.

[00:16:39] But to the extent of which is a part of you differs according to how much you invest yourself in it you know i'm very European facing and very into like a lot of that stuff because I like it connect with it but.

[00:16:51] I also connect a lot with UK culture to.

[00:16:55] So anyway I digress like it's.

[00:16:58] It's all about that connection and how much you invest yourself into it and when I sat down and started to kind of.

[00:17:05] Embrace the UK again embrace what my life was to become and what it was going to look like here and what I could do here and so on I started to kind of.

[00:17:17] When say plan but I started to think like okay whatever I do maybe this is base this is home.

[00:17:24] Maybe because there's this expression you know home is where your highs and I don't know like I I always just kind of form a base I don't really have a home per se yet but.

[00:17:35] You kind of feel comfortable in the UK you know it's it feels homey in that sense.

[00:17:44] So the journey over the last three years has very much been building myself building I suppose strength.

[00:17:54] Understanding and unpacking years of experiences trauma bad times.

[00:18:02] It's a thing you can run away from your problems but eventually you have to like sit down and address them otherwise they just eat you alive it's just how it works.

[00:18:11] And so I finally did that.

[00:18:13] And I think that.

[00:18:15] I began to understand a bit more about some of the problems I'm facing and the issues I'm facing.

[00:18:25] And like now I'm still facing a lot of the same issues but I think I'm more honest with myself now about them.

[00:18:34] You know it be things like loneliness for example I've always struggled with that my entire life.

[00:18:40] But now I'm like okay so that's that's the problem that's that's what we're dealing with you know and it's not like I won't punish myself for it I'll try and be fair with myself.

[00:18:50] And the reason why that's relevant is it comes from talking to myself I think it comes from from spirituality all stems from that but prior to all of this I'd say internally I was very chaotic and emotionally like disturbed.

[00:19:11] I remember one time I had this guest on my show not even that long ago within the last year.

[00:19:17] Her name is Vanessa and her iPhone.

[00:19:21] She definitely got checkered I was pretty cool.

[00:19:24] I asked her a question I probably shouldn't have because I was just a little bit curious you know.

[00:19:31] She was talking about like reads she gets on people and stuff and I was like well what should read on me right.

[00:19:38] I don't think I wanted to know you know you ask a question you just don't want to know the answer but I did.

[00:19:44] So I asked and she tells me I'm a tortured soul.

[00:19:49] And I'm like I know she's right straight away as soon as she says it but it was weird to hear another person say it without any prior knowledge of me that was weird.

[00:20:02] You mentioned in the beginning of this that you noticed that there was a lot of change in me as far as the things I'm looking at and addressing and stuff.

[00:20:12] I think it stems from that from me being honest with myself.

[00:20:17] I was drinking for example I wasn't an alcoholic but I had a bad habit.

[00:20:23] I was in a job where I was working a lot of hours.

[00:20:27] I wasn't taking care of myself as much as I should have been.

[00:20:30] And things were out of balance and when things were out of balance be it you know eating enough, you're not sleeping enough.

[00:20:37] You're not being social enough whatever like it will catch up with you and you will get sick or something bad will happen or whatever and things will come to a kind of equilibrium point again they will rectify themselves whether it's you doing it or whether it's life doing it to you.

[00:20:55] And that's what happened.

[00:20:57] And I wasn't hard on myself. I felt bad at the time when it when it first kind of all fell apart and I started to build from there but then you know I went into work mode I was like okay well I'm not going to sit and feel bad and sorry for myself I'm going to work on myself that's what I'm that's how I work.

[00:21:17] I'm not saying it's for everyone but that's what I do.

[00:21:21] And so I started doing it but like if you take the gym as an example I approached it differently I started going okay well I'm going to try this differently I'm going to really give this a go and make it the

[00:21:32] changes necessary to actually make change. And I figured well do the same with myself I'll take time to rest I'll take time to be out more some of the more even more recent things I've started doing is just sitting down and reading more.

[00:21:50] You know time away from the screen less time on apps like say TikTok which are bad for you really bad for you if you don't fit their bad for you you've not realized

[00:22:00] their terrible fear brain they create this kind of instant gratifications stuff which has an impact on your brain and it's but the thing is things are supposed to take time you know things don't happen overnight.

[00:22:16] Our shows are representative of that we both kind of hit our stride but it's come through a lot of time and effort and patience we could have given up at any point but we didn't because we both believe in what we're doing and

[00:22:34] we should believe in it it's good stuff it's there's something there but I think what's changed as I said earlier it's become bigger than ourselves and that's key when you're doing anything in life that's bigger than yourself.

[00:22:48] It's always going to be more passionate and motivated to do it because if it's just for you it's tricky I don't know like when I look at the live streams that I do I realized that I have a responsibility to those people to entertain

[00:23:04] to fulfill a promise of like hey I'm going to be here and I'm going to entertain you I'm going to bring something positive your way.

[00:23:11] I might not do it forever but while I'm able to I will do it and I'll deliver and I feel the same is true of the shows that we do like if our goal is to

[00:23:21] when my case to share stories and explore people's lives in your case to explore you know the human psyche and spiritual world and realms and fully understand what that means for us in existence.

[00:23:37] That's a journey that's never ending it can go in many different directions and so long as our passion and motivation and highs in that it will continue to be a good thing and we'll be able to continue to deliver that.

[00:23:51] Yeah man and one of the really amazing things about podcasting is that you know you put out episode after episode after episode and you're grinding here and you're grinding there you're scheduling people and editing episodes and releasing them and you're marketing you're doing all these things.

[00:24:09] And in the background what you don't realize is that like you are growing as a person during this process because you're both getting better at having a conversation.

[00:24:20] You're getting better at interviewing you're getting better at expressing yourself and you're also adapting to the environment that you're in according to what a lot of your guests are saying you know you're you're adopting their their perspectives their viewpoints and you're sort of adding them to your world.

[00:24:37] And I think that really helps with self development which is why I think everybody should do some sort of you know content creation communication with you know audiences and other people because with the digital age here you know we're offered these amazing tools that allow us to connect with one another from across the world you know you and I are not even close in distance to each other.

[00:25:00] Yeah we're able to just you know hang out here and talk and discuss things and learn from each other.

[00:25:05] You know have each other on you know our podcast grow together so it's a beautiful thing man the the journey really is amazing.

[00:25:15] Yeah man I was thinking about this the other day like how you take these things for granted like I remember first getting the internet and just being blown away that I could just talk to someone that was saying a marriage.

[00:25:28] And now it's like just easiest just switching on a program and hit record and that's it but as you said there's so much to learn from one another and I think part of it comes from the wildly different.

[00:25:43] Outbringings experiences day the days for a societal values and.

[00:25:53] Just everything man everything's totally different you know like I know nothing about your upbringing but like I can just see that you're different to myself but there's a lot of things we connect on which again I find that amazing.

[00:26:06] To connect with people that are totally different from you different experiences but you just connect on these base levels because you've kind of come to the same understanding about life through a different like roots got it yeah it's like taking different routes to get to the same destination like how did you get here well I took this for you know it's like the same thing.

[00:26:32] It's exciting I don't know like what you were saying there about like episode after episode after episode like I enjoy I enjoy the show more now than I did when I started and there was a period like everyone else has where I got a bit annoyed and I was like oh.

[00:26:49] The views aren't it's not going where I want it to go to do do do do do do do do do and it's like that's when most people quit but I was like well I still enjoy doing this I just wish it had more reach I wish more people would see it and I got to a point where I was like.

[00:27:04] I wish more people would hear it because I'm getting so much from this like I don't know about anyone else but I love it like I learned as you say you learn from your guests you're like oh wow I never thought about things that way or well like I'm always flattered when certain people want to appear on my show i'm just like wow like that blows my mind every time they're like they willing to sit down and just talk to you know repeat guests like yourself Josh where it's like back and forth and back and forth it's like.

[00:27:31] That's such a gift you know to be able to to get to do that and to build those kind of relationships and connections i'm learning to be a lot more grateful I think in life i've weirdly despite not being religious I do kind of sit.

[00:27:51] Often everyone's in the world and just find myself like I don't know if it's praying per se but it's kind of like i'm just saying thanks i'm like thank you to whatever's out there thank you for all I have you know and I do that a lot and there's and what's interesting about it is a fine moments where I'll stop i'll look at everything for a second and i'll be like thank you you know just you know saying like it's

[00:28:21] sometimes it's more poignant like i was spending time with family recently and it hit me and I got really kind of sad like it was a really happy moment but i was like wow like this won't last forever you know it's just the nature of life so all the more reason to be in it and be engaged in every single second live life to its fullest extent.

[00:28:51] I had a guest who was supposed to be on my show recently actor he'd been on the show before and everything was set up ready to have him on the show.

[00:29:02] He doesn't show up i'm like oh well i know i know this guy like i know he's not like flaky so i was like okay maybe something came up i'm sure we'll get back to me and it's that days pass and this is weird don't see anything about him on social media so start googling his name

[00:29:19] and i see like reports that are concerning but they're from like dodgy websites and my last can't be right go on social media.

[00:29:28] Facebook i think looking at people close to him and then it sinks in and the guy is unfortunately passed away in a car crash and you know i didn't know him very well but like i knew him like i'd follow his stuff and what not and.

[00:29:49] I think the thing that kind of threw me the most about it and i've seen a lot of death in over the years but i think the most poignant aspect of it was like he just got in his car.

[00:30:01] He did a video like he always did posted it on like instagram or something and he just drove and then that was it.

[00:30:09] Just like that and i was sent to a friend earlier today that like part of it kind of makes me angry like pisses me off like.

[00:30:21] I'm angry but like what the fuck like you just like lit like.

[00:30:26] You live your life you work really hard and it's just taking away from you.

[00:30:31] But then the other side of this i think is maybe there's a lesson there that to just really just make the most of every.

[00:30:39] Single day and moment as much as you possibly can because tomorrow is just not promised.

[00:30:46] Sorry very it's such a deep sort of poignant level but i think it's important to think about these things you know like and i'm thinking about it more and more and more and more and more and i don't take a single second for granted.

[00:30:58] That's powerful man yeah i think gratitude is one of the integral steps and even an integral practice on anyone's path to spirituality.

[00:31:10] And another thing obviously death you know it's a big part of the spiritual path as well because when you start to think about spirit.

[00:31:21] It brings to question the paradox of life and death and you start to think about what death is you know what comes after death so what are your views on death i mean you've had a lot of people on your podcast.

[00:31:35] Who've spoken to you about in your death experiences you and i have spoken extensively about death on your podcast so where do you land right now on death what happens after.

[00:31:55] I think the answer is going to be a little bit disappointing but it's just i don't know like but what i mean is i don't know what to believe because i hear people say.

[00:32:05] Always just blackness nothing and that's it and i feel like that's a reasonable thing to say i don't see anything logical about that.

[00:32:14] But then also kind of look at it and i'm like really all this to then just nothing.

[00:32:21] And then i start getting annoyed again i think but like.

[00:32:26] I think my heart makes me want to believe that there's more to this i think.

[00:32:36] Someone said to me a few years back and i think this might be true they said that our souls.

[00:32:43] Essentially choose everything prior to us you know inhibiting our vessels our physical bodies.

[00:32:53] So the idea being that you like you choose everything like you choose what your life is going to be you choose the lessons you need to learn.

[00:33:00] You choose who your parents are going to be all these different things but then in a way it's kind as it was explained to me it's kind of like a game idea so.

[00:33:11] You might be unsuccessful you might set these challenges for yourself.

[00:33:15] So when you think about like essentially like life is like a game like you choose this game like oh i'm going to play this character and i will see how this goes.

[00:33:22] But i don't know this kind of seem like maybe plausible but only for the sense of like spiritual growth like.

[00:33:30] That you choose this life yourself you challenge yourself and you see if you can learn lessons for it maybe.

[00:33:38] I also think about the fact that you know we're all interconnected um.

[00:33:43] I said this to one of the guests that's been on your show he's also been on mine Jane Nelson about this idea that this is something my dad told me that you know.

[00:33:55] In everyone exists a part of you and vice versa so you are everyone and everyone is you.

[00:34:02] If you start looking at things like that firstly it will give you more compassion and empathy for people but secondly you start to realize that.

[00:34:09] We're not all that different the things that changes are circumstance choices you know.

[00:34:17] Sometimes good people are forced to do bad things and bad people to do good things and so much of life is driven by choice or lack of choice or laziness.

[00:34:29] You know someone asked me the other day like oh do you think most people are good and I said no I think most people are lazy.

[00:34:36] And what I mean is like not necessarily bad just you know if if me and you're walking down the street and one of us gets like in a serious accident or something I'll run over or help you.

[00:34:52] How many people will just stand and stare and pull out their phones now you can argue oh that's a cultural thing but even prior to like mobile phones like I used to see this stuff.

[00:35:01] I've been experiences like this.

[00:35:04] I think a lot of people probably just think like oh well someone else will come along someone else will do something but the compulsion to be the one to do something is a tricky one.

[00:35:15] And then the one time being in this situation like this and the thing that kind of went to my head is I have to be the one to do this.

[00:35:24] No one else is going to.

[00:35:25] And it was kind of a sad realization but it was also like well at least I'm going to try and help like at least on one person trying to help offer the story actually because it's interesting so I'm waiting for a bus on the way to college on like 15 years old short skinny emo Christian.

[00:35:45] And so this is 2000's the reason that's relevant is that our phones are crap you know we got all these flip phones and stuff everything's like cheap and you know not much technology but people are still just like whatever on their iPods like not really paying attention.

[00:36:05] There's quite a few people the bus start people in the 30s 40s 50s and there's one of a kid who's maybe like 12 13 short scrawny like me anyway.

[00:36:19] We're in like a kind of like a bus shelter where it's like a you bend type one so like there's buses terminating on the other side waiting and that'll probably be the same buses we get on were on the other side where we're waiting for the buses to come.

[00:36:35] I see this man walking from the other side and you know it's like 9 in the morning 10 in the morning and he's really intoxicated like really really drunk.

[00:36:48] He's a really big guy like very very large man and he's just stumbling all over the place and then he basically trips over and like I guess smacks his face on the curb is look really bad.

[00:37:03] I was like Jesus like a wince when I saw it and then I just I never get this his face kind of was buried on the floor and at first I'd wondered if he was if he died and he picked his head up slowly and I remember him his face was lifted and it's blood pouring down everywhere.

[00:37:23] It's really horrible and I froze for a second and I looked at him and in this moment I was deciding what that one we're going to do.

[00:37:31] As a nearby train station I can run to get help but I'm just kind of like looking at my options for a second.

[00:37:37] I turn to the left and look at all the people in the bus garage and as I said I remember there was a guy particularly that stood out maybe early 40s just with his hands at his pockets and he's sort of like glancing over but not really doing anything.

[00:37:53] I was just increasingly looking at all these people not one person walked over or saw anything wrong with it and I was just kind of frustrated and angry as I decided in that moment okay I'm going to help him like I have to someone has to.

[00:38:11] And I'm happy to be that person wasn't like a big deal I'm not like some hero something it's just like we got to look out for each other.

[00:38:18] This work gets funny so I didn't think about like how I'd help him so as I mentioned before i'm a really short scorny guy at this point no muscle strength nothing like i'm just tiny so I will go over to him and I'm like hey mate i'm comfortable in trying to pick him up and then I'm like oh and then my head I'm like hmm I didn't think this fruit like I don't know how I'm going to pick him up so I'm like struggling like.

[00:38:48] And then the kid the 12th and you're like runs over and grabs the other arm and can you believe it like two kids picking up a grown man because none of the adults would do anything like that's such a sad story stay but we managed to pick about we sat him down on this like tiny seat.

[00:39:07] And everyone's asking me what to do i'm like i'm a kid I don't know like I remember there was a guy that ran over from the train station who's asking what to do and I had to tell him what to do is I will get him help get some water get some tissues like you know.

[00:39:22] Use your brain like you know well as to say like I shouldn't have to be the one doing this but here we are they did it he just ran off and did it he's like I was weird i was like okay.

[00:39:35] And then yeah we got him I think we've gotten a taxi home or something got him out of there but point is like.

[00:39:46] You see the humanity in people come out the most when people help each other I think when they go out of their way for each other like I saw it a lot when I did volunteer work.

[00:39:58] I see it when I sit down and talk to our homes people and I give them some change that chat with them about their lives and stuff and.

[00:40:07] It's there sometimes but not always and I think a lot of us like maybe we even want to help but just aren't willing to try and i urge you to try man for yourself out there you don't have to do a lot yeah I think a lot of people they automatically assume like well what am i going to do like I don't have any money yet.

[00:40:28] I don't have this I don't have that we have time you know you've got time you sit down you can talk to people like when I did volunteer work that was my own time I was volunteering you know i didn't even realize that's something I could do but did it and it was one of the best things I've ever done.

[00:40:47] And I do it again and I want to do it again in the future it just becomes a part of you like I remember they'd thank us every time we'd go.

[00:40:59] I was like you don't have to keep thanking me you know I love to do this for the way yeah but still man like we appreciate you working hard you know like.

[00:41:09] And for me it just became like natural but i was proud of that i was happy with that because it was like that's how should be.

[00:41:18] It should just be like oh i'm going to go do this i'm going to help these people now like you just do it and it becomes as natural as breathing.

[00:41:29] Yeah man you know life is all about connection you know and you feel that connection when you're helping people you know when you're doing something to age your fellow man you know it's a lot like what your dad told you you know you see yourself in everyone and when you saw that man fall over and smash his face on the ground i'm sure part of you.

[00:41:48] Part of you you know felt that for yourself and you felt yourself in him and wanted to you know to be the one to go over and help you know I feel I feel like a lot of people especially.

[00:42:00] Bystanders of situations like that they're looking for a leader you know in our in our culture you know we we have this like this superhero aspect to you know how we've been raised in our entertainment and we hope that someone's going to come along.

[00:42:16] And be the hero and show us what to do and how to do it and that really struck me when you said that that guy came over to you and he asked you know what should I do you know he's looking to you as the person who was like the leader you know i think a lot of people look for that.

[00:42:31] When situations like this arise you know and again it's it's all about connection you know whether you're talking about humanity evolution spirituality like these things are all grounded in connection and you know just as your dad.

[00:42:46] He said seeing everyone as if they are yourself I think that's a very advanced spiritual lesson so your dad must have been a pretty spiritual guy.

[00:42:57] Still is still looking about yeah i think.

[00:43:03] It's interesting with different people but we've kept and it kind of goes back to what I said to you before about you meet different people and you know i haven't spent a lot of time around him but we've come to the same spiritual understanding similar spiritual journey and I wonder about that and i think that it stems from.

[00:43:21] Maybe looking for certain things you know but I think it's more you come to the same understandings because you're looking for the similar thing trying to get the same sort of thing out of life I think i don't know what exactly there's i'm looking for but I think.

[00:43:41] I guess maybe i'm trying to understand myself better for doing it.

[00:43:44] My sense of purpose you know I know i i like to have i'd like to not to stress about things like money i'd like not i'd like to be able to travel the world and do all these amazing things you see how people do but it's more because of what I know I would get from it it's not yeah I can get two shifts about being rich or famous or whatever I don't care about any of that.

[00:44:12] I care about like experiences and people and.

[00:44:17] Purpose more than anything else i think it's really important for me to have a sense of purpose and know that what i'm doing means something and I know some people in the nihilist to be like well nothing means anything Christian you know and i'm not saying you're wrong I don't know any of us are right or wrong but I know what I feel is right.

[00:44:40] You mentioned before like or maybe you helped that man because you saw a part of yourself in him no I helped that man because I thought it was the right thing to do.

[00:44:49] I felt like i need to do i need to help him because this is how it feels like so many of my choices and in life are guided by that and it's interesting because like I feel I feel the battle between the selfish person and and the moral.

[00:45:06] You know I can think so many times in my life like nights out certain choices decisions choices to pursue certain people and not you know and it all boiled down to like this is what the right thing to do is.

[00:45:19] And don't get me on the flip side of made the wrong decision as well in the past and both of them come with consequences and positives and negatives you know often when you made the wrong decision.

[00:45:31] The main thing you lose is like a sense of yourself you you know you disappoint yourself no one can be as disappointed as you are in yourself guarantee that people are being angry people will be upset with you but.

[00:45:47] I mean they'll forget about you they'll forgive you whatever like but do you forgive you have you reconciled with that what did it mean to you did you are you self aware enough to recognize.

[00:46:01] Oh this is a mistake it's not me or is that you.

[00:46:05] You know like I feel like a lot of the time when people continually making the same mistakes.

[00:46:11] It's because they either are blind to them or they refuse to accept them or just too lazy to take action you know.

[00:46:21] When I realized that had a problem with you know drinking.

[00:46:25] I was like okay well I could just like cut back and you know even to this day i'm not saying I won't ever have a drink again because I know I could then it be fine but when I chose to make a decision on that.

[00:46:36] I wanted to do something that you ready for it with spiritual something that meant something on maybe a.

[00:46:44] Deepest psychological level philosophical level maybe to me it represented like i'm going to clear this out of my body and mind and.

[00:46:54] And focus on me and then building myself and maybe that's why you see me in a better headspace now because i'm looking more at like what i'm taking in who i'm associated with.

[00:47:07] Even just like videos are watched sometimes sometimes i sit down and be like oh do you know what this is too negative.

[00:47:14] Like it's you know i'm not saying like negative contents not you can watch negative stuff sometimes you know sometimes it's fun to but just bear in mind if you consume too much of that it becomes you.

[00:47:26] It's you know it's the kind of what do they call it self-fulerm prophecy you know you just you get sucked into it um.

[00:47:37] I need to never to boy happens all the time now you work in a crappy workplace and you're around that enough like eventually you just gonna become a sinner can be like right this you know but if you can detach yourself from it enough then you'll be alright.

[00:47:52] But it's tricky you know especially when you're boiled in it like you're buried in a boiled in all the time i talked about buried in it it's you know it's difficult to.

[00:48:03] To see the bigger picture I think um but that's what it always always boils down to is what's the big picture was the purpose while we're doing care why am I doing this why am I doing that like I see a lot of people that.

[00:48:15] And again i've been there so this isn't like or whenever I say this it's coming from a place of experience as well it's like when you're just driven purely by impulse or like all that'll be fun or this is big sighting it's like just because it's fun or exciting doesn't always make it the right decision.

[00:48:34] You know the right decision is categorized by like how I make you feel how much others feel and is this for the greater good is this like a.

[00:48:43] Overall morally good decision is this going to lead to like some spiritual growth I think because that's another element of it all the steps that i'm taking today and the benefit me tomorrow you know um.

[00:49:03] Yeah yeah man you know and a very common pitfall as you did mention there was Nile is.

[00:49:13] You know whether you're like you said in a job where you're surrounded by disgruntled employees and you're doing something that you hate it's very easy to get caught in Nile is and I think nowadays it's especially easy because if you turn on the news whatever country you happen to be in.

[00:49:31] It is nothing but negativity and if you engage with that negativity on social media whether it be on tiktok instagram reals facebook you're going to get that in return.

[00:49:43] That algorithm is going to continue to feed you what you're engaging in and that can further lead to nihilism so how do you avoid that in your life but yes continue.

[00:49:53] Yeah well that kind of leads into what it's going to say anyway um I just want to go on a tangent quickly and then let's circle back to that so the tangent is still relevant though I see these people on social media arguing Twitter especially people arguing and arguing and arguing and it's like I get being passionate about stuff I understand but you're just arguing with a stranger on the internet this doesn't fucking mean anything.

[00:50:23] If you're a loved one is like doing drugs and they're going to like this is it for them you know like this could be the end of them I get it man go fucking nuts at them welcome in a cupboard for a week if you have to just do what you need to do take him to the therapist yourself and sit down like do you know what I mean that do you need to do to save that person that you love 100% totally get it but when you're just.

[00:50:54] How do I avoid it well I tell you how I avoid it I look at my time that we have on this earth and I think about.

[00:51:03] How valuable that time is and what that time means or whatever it presents.

[00:51:08] We all have this time that we can use in different ways and don't get me wrong we're on different circumstances we're all dealt a different hand as soon as we're born I'm very aware of that.

[00:51:22] But there's always opportunities there's always chances to just take a risk.

[00:51:28] An educated risk you think about these risks but a risk nonetheless a bet on one self right now I'm doing that the sensible thing would have been if I'd have gone and pursued whatever marketing career somewhere else but.

[00:51:41] I don't want to do the sensible play it safe thing because there's nothing safe about life life is about taking risks and throwing yourself out there and seeing well how far can I take this how far can I take me you ain't going to impress anyone by playing it's safe you're not going to grow on a spiritual level either if you don't take risks you know it's not all about sitting down and reading books and you know going for like a two week trip to Thailand.

[00:52:11] And there's some shit like it's about like actually investing in things that are good for your soul and good for you.

[00:52:19] And that's whoever's listening right now like you've got to figure that out yourself you've got to like really be honest and true of yourself and go what is it that I reverberate with what is it that when I wake up in the morning I feel so passionate about this for me as acting.

[00:52:33] Acting, voice acting content creation podcasting all these things keep me alive I'm fascinated every time I do it I'm excited I'm full of life in the same way I am when I get like really passionate about going to a specific place oh it's new exciting getting on the plane or trying some new food for the first time or making passionate love with some girl that you're really fancy like I don't know it's all the time.

[00:53:03] The same thing it's so exciting it's all like that's what life is about take the risk choose how you choose to use your time wisely because it can all be over and you might sit and look and be like oh man I just wasted it on like pointless stuff I wasted it arguing well just getting angry about things.

[00:53:30] Again I talk from experience I've been there man when I was like 19 or 20 I was so angry at the world and like you know felt slighted felt like who was me everything crap it was nothing's ever going to get better do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do

[00:54:00] do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do these people you see they are spending their time in ill-fated ways people you and you look at them you know why are you making these decisions I think it's more because they're just not taking a bet on themselves maybe they're scared maybe they're insecure it could be a thousand different reasons

[00:54:23] I think it's up to us to try and inspire each other

[00:54:26] and motivate each other to go out there

[00:54:28] and live lives to the best of our ability.

[00:54:31] Try and reach as many people as possible

[00:54:32] and make them realize that their time is so valuable

[00:54:36] to use it wisely.

[00:54:41] Yeah, dude, you know, you talk about the people

[00:54:43] who you would see online fighting with each other

[00:54:46] over nothing, over nonsense.

[00:54:49] I was that person, like two, a pretty annoying degree.

[00:54:53] I was the kind of person that I was a massive atheist.

[00:54:57] I loved to argue with people who were on the opposite

[00:55:01] political spectrum and people who were religious

[00:55:04] and, you know, what I can say from experience

[00:55:07] is the reason that I did that looking back on it

[00:55:10] is I was seeking acknowledgement.

[00:55:13] I was seeking validation externally

[00:55:16] from people around me because I wasn't able

[00:55:18] to validate myself.

[00:55:20] I didn't love myself.

[00:55:21] I didn't know who I was.

[00:55:22] I didn't know what anything was.

[00:55:25] When I started to broaden my horizons

[00:55:27] and started to read more and, you know,

[00:55:30] do psychedelics and just love more, you know,

[00:55:34] you start to really learn what life is about.

[00:55:37] You know, it's about connection, it's about love

[00:55:39] and then you're able to open yourself up to things

[00:55:41] that previously had scared you

[00:55:43] because I think that's really what it is.

[00:55:45] We have a fear of what we don't understand

[00:55:48] and a lot of times that fear manifests itself

[00:55:51] in aggression, violence, engagement on social media

[00:55:55] that's super negative.

[00:55:57] And I think that's a lot of the reason why people do it.

[00:55:59] I mean, that's the reason why I did it.

[00:56:02] Yeah, no, I think you're spot on man.

[00:56:04] I mean, because when you really sit down

[00:56:06] and I just logic, it's just be reasonable about it

[00:56:10] and look at it with logic like,

[00:56:11] you're not gonna gain anything.

[00:56:13] You know, I mean, okay, the example you gave

[00:56:15] but maybe the thing you could gain is

[00:56:17] you might be able to convince some people

[00:56:19] to look a different way, but that's not really

[00:56:21] gonna satisfy you, not really.

[00:56:24] It might feel like a short moment

[00:56:27] but I see it the same as like taking revenge on people.

[00:56:31] It's like it's not gonna give you anything.

[00:56:34] You just carry it with you.

[00:56:37] Like one thing I noticed like when I wasn't angry

[00:56:39] at the world anymore, I felt a sense of weightlessness.

[00:56:43] Like right now I just let things go.

[00:56:47] You know, I feel sad about it in the moment.

[00:56:49] Sure, I'll get angry, I'll get upset

[00:56:52] and I just let it go.

[00:56:54] Cause it's done.

[00:56:55] What's the point letting it linger?

[00:56:57] What's the point letting it be frustrated?

[00:57:00] Like life just happens.

[00:57:02] It just happens to you.

[00:57:03] Sometimes shit happens

[00:57:06] and it's frustrating

[00:57:07] and it's annoying.

[00:57:09] Always upsetting.

[00:57:11] But it's up to you to find a way to...

[00:57:15] Learn something from it.

[00:57:18] Or just let it go.

[00:57:20] Sometimes there's no lesson at all.

[00:57:22] It's just life messing with you.

[00:57:25] And you gotta...

[00:57:26] That's why it's good to have a sense of humor.

[00:57:28] Just have some fun with it, man.

[00:57:31] But you're right.

[00:57:32] Like I do think a lot of it is about validation.

[00:57:35] I think, I don't know about yourself,

[00:57:37] but for me like I just...

[00:57:39] I avoid drama and confrontation

[00:57:44] and stuff, I just personally don't like it.

[00:57:45] But I do understand the appeal of debating.

[00:57:48] I think it's interesting

[00:57:49] it can sometimes get unique points of view at each other.

[00:57:53] But so many debates I see instead of it being like,

[00:57:57] hey, let's try and educate each other.

[00:57:59] It's more like...

[00:58:01] Fuck you, you're wrong.

[00:58:02] No, fuck you, you're wrong.

[00:58:03] Duh, duh, duh, duh, duh.

[00:58:04] And it's like why does it have to be so disrespectful?

[00:58:07] Now don't get me wrong.

[00:58:08] I know it can be very heated when it's like

[00:58:10] you're talking to someone who's views

[00:58:12] or like offensive to yours.

[00:58:15] I understand, but I still think it's better

[00:58:18] to just approach it like peacefully

[00:58:22] and just try to appeal to their sense of logic

[00:58:25] and reasoning even if it appears

[00:58:27] that they didn't have any.

[00:58:28] Just try anyway, man.

[00:58:30] Don't let others...

[00:58:32] Don't let your disappointment

[00:58:34] and others shape your behavior.

[00:58:36] You know?

[00:58:37] Like try to speak to you.

[00:58:39] It's the goal.

[00:58:40] What goal do you have in mind?

[00:58:42] Why are you debating?

[00:58:43] Why are you competing?

[00:58:44] Personally, I love competition.

[00:58:47] I'm a big fan of it.

[00:58:48] I grew up ever since from first grade up until

[00:58:51] I graduated high school.

[00:58:52] I was a Greco-Roman wrestler after that.

[00:58:55] Oh wow.

[00:58:56] I did amateur boxing.

[00:58:57] So I've been a competitor for my whole life

[00:59:01] and I love competing.

[00:59:02] I love debating.

[00:59:04] It's fantastic.

[00:59:05] But what you have to get down and get straight

[00:59:09] is what's your goal?

[00:59:10] Are you just in it to win?

[00:59:12] Are you just in it for the victory?

[00:59:14] Or are you in it for a deeper purpose?

[00:59:17] You know, it brings to mind this concept of

[00:59:21] what's called the infinite game versus the finite game.

[00:59:27] This is a concept that was written about

[00:59:30] in a book called infinite...

[00:59:31] finite infinite games by James Kars,

[00:59:33] where he talks about the point of a game.

[00:59:37] You know, the games that are most worth playing

[00:59:41] are the ones that are infinite.

[00:59:43] You play them with the goal to continually be able

[00:59:47] to play them.

[00:59:48] You don't play the game in order to win

[00:59:51] or in order to see it to its finality.

[00:59:54] You play the game as a point of playing it

[00:59:58] so that you can continue to play the game.

[01:00:00] I think that's a really advanced concept

[01:00:03] and it's a great resource to understand,

[01:00:07] you know, what am I getting out of this?

[01:00:09] What am I getting out of competition?

[01:00:11] What am I getting out of all the things

[01:00:12] that I do in my life?

[01:00:13] Am I just looking to a quick means to an end

[01:00:16] or am I looking to grow?

[01:00:18] Because that's what competition is to me.

[01:00:20] You're growing.

[01:00:21] You're getting better.

[01:00:22] You know, when I'm in the ring with someone,

[01:00:24] you know, I'm across from somebody who

[01:00:28] is on my team, you know, say I'm training,

[01:00:30] you know, and I get in the ring to spar.

[01:00:33] There's somebody across the ring

[01:00:35] that I know wants to hurt me,

[01:00:37] is going to try to come at me and attack me.

[01:00:40] But we are going to both attack each other

[01:00:43] in a way where we're growing.

[01:00:45] We're trying to learn.

[01:00:46] We're trying to better ourselves, you know, together.

[01:00:50] And I think that's what debate should be as well.

[01:00:53] When you see presidential debates,

[01:00:55] they're very different

[01:00:56] because they're geared toward this argumentative

[01:01:01] like by very partisan dividing,

[01:01:06] like very divisive type of atmosphere

[01:01:08] that's what they do.

[01:01:09] But there were so because they don't even really,

[01:01:11] like at least with that kind of actual debate,

[01:01:13] they'll put a forward, like the legitimate points.

[01:01:18] And while it might be difficult to follow

[01:01:19] because they're just shouting or getting emotional

[01:01:21] with each other, like they're still like

[01:01:24] actual back and forth discourse, right?

[01:01:26] Whereas presidential debates,

[01:01:28] I feel like a lot of the time,

[01:01:29] it's just like a, how can I best embarrass my opponent?

[01:01:34] You know, I don't even know.

[01:01:35] Sometimes they will challenge them

[01:01:37] with like a legitimate point of view.

[01:01:38] But most of it's just embarrass, embarrass, embarrass,

[01:01:41] and it's like, I get that that's a strategy

[01:01:43] and I think it dates back to like Reagan's days.

[01:01:46] I think he introduced it, but I don't know.

[01:01:49] I just...

[01:01:50] It's...

[01:01:51] That's a strategy to win not to win.

[01:01:54] Yeah, not to inform the public.

[01:01:56] It's a very different thing.

[01:01:57] What the data is at once.

[01:01:58] It works.

[01:01:59] That's the frustrating part, it works.

[01:02:01] It will seem to be...

[01:02:02] It will seem to be.

[01:02:03] Yeah, and people love a character,

[01:02:05] don't they? They love charisma.

[01:02:07] But it's like, I can't believe that people think like,

[01:02:09] oh, yeah, that's who I want to run my country

[01:02:12] or lead my country.

[01:02:13] It's like, hey, every country is the same man.

[01:02:15] UK is exactly the same.

[01:02:19] People love characters, but you know,

[01:02:22] just because someone's an interesting character

[01:02:24] doesn't mean they're fit to run a country.

[01:02:27] It's a whole other thing, but I don't know, man.

[01:02:30] It's a tricky one.

[01:02:33] I'm with you there, man.

[01:02:34] Let's switch to something a little more uplifting.

[01:02:40] Christian, what is love?

[01:02:43] And how do you love yourself?

[01:02:46] Oh my God.

[01:02:48] Wow.

[01:02:51] What is love?

[01:02:52] Baby, don't hurt me.

[01:02:55] You've seen those memes, they're brilliant.

[01:02:58] I think it's the best feeling you can have.

[01:03:05] I think it's beautiful because you don't really

[01:03:10] have to explain it.

[01:03:11] You just instantly know what it is.

[01:03:14] And...

[01:03:18] I know there's different types of love

[01:03:21] that you feel in life, but I feel like...

[01:03:25] When we asked that question, the biggest one we're thinking

[01:03:29] about is with this significant other.

[01:03:31] And it's something that's kind of eluded me

[01:03:33] a lot of my life still does.

[01:03:36] But when I think about it,

[01:03:41] it's a lot like lovemaking.

[01:03:43] It's like, you just lose yourself in it.

[01:03:46] You kind of hopelessly...

[01:03:49] throw yourself into it.

[01:03:52] And...

[01:03:54] It's a risk, but much like life.

[01:03:58] That's the point.

[01:03:59] It's like...

[01:04:01] When it's bad, oh my God, is it heartbreaking?

[01:04:04] It's devastating.

[01:04:06] But when it's good, it's like...

[01:04:09] incomparable.

[01:04:10] It's like nothing else.

[01:04:11] If you're in love...

[01:04:15] I think it's ecstatic.

[01:04:17] It's like the best feeling you could ever feel.

[01:04:22] What was the second question?

[01:04:25] How do you love yourself?

[01:04:27] I asked that for a reason, because to me,

[01:04:31] self-love is like the ultimate form of love.

[01:04:34] And I like to say,

[01:04:37] love with the capital L.

[01:04:39] To me, when someone asks me,

[01:04:41] what is God?

[01:04:42] What is the source?

[01:04:44] What is soul?

[01:04:46] To me, I answer that question by saying love with the capital L.

[01:04:51] You know, it's like, as you said,

[01:04:52] it's the only word that we don't really have a definition for.

[01:04:56] We feel into it.

[01:04:58] And when I've been in

[01:05:00] higher states of consciousness where I felt the oneness

[01:05:03] of all beings and the interconnectedness

[01:05:06] and also impermanence, life and death,

[01:05:08] all of that,

[01:05:09] there's always been...

[01:05:11] There's been a foundation of love.

[01:05:14] You know, it's the only thing that I can...

[01:05:16] It's the only word that I can use to describe

[01:05:19] the, you know,

[01:05:21] the boundless feeling of pure consciousness and God.

[01:05:25] You know, it's like

[01:05:29] romantic love is

[01:05:31] a doorway to that.

[01:05:32] You know, love for your family.

[01:05:34] You know, it's a doorway to that feeling, you know?

[01:05:40] Self-love is one that I

[01:05:42] struggle with.

[01:05:43] I try my best.

[01:05:49] I thought...

[01:05:50] I could be honest,

[01:05:51] like, I just find it very frustrating.

[01:05:55] I can't count how many times I've heard someone say

[01:05:59] you can't love anyone else unless you love yourself.

[01:06:02] I've said it.

[01:06:03] It's true, but

[01:06:06] I go back and forth.

[01:06:07] I do everything I can to take care of myself.

[01:06:10] I think self-love is like, you know,

[01:06:14] treating yourself exactly how you would treat someone that you love.

[01:06:17] You know, so you eat good food,

[01:06:19] you exercise properly, you rest properly,

[01:06:22] you do things...

[01:06:25] You know, to treat yourself to be nice to yourself, you know?

[01:06:32] But we're self-destructive as beings.

[01:06:34] And when we're not happy, it can worsen.

[01:06:36] And it's a tricky one.

[01:06:41] I think in my moments when I feel desperately alone and unloved,

[01:06:44] and non-wanted, and unsuccessful,

[01:06:46] and it's just the

[01:06:48] never-ending circle, unfortunately.

[01:06:53] I struggle to self-love,

[01:06:55] but I do it anyway because

[01:06:58] a lot of it comes from discipline.

[01:07:02] Like, when I quit drinking, it really helped,

[01:07:04] because all I was doing was going out...

[01:07:08] I remember going out feeling low,

[01:07:12] drinking, and feeling worse.

[01:07:14] Like, I wasn't drunk or anything,

[01:07:16] but I just woke home and I was like,

[01:07:17] why did I do that?

[01:07:18] Why don't I just go straight home?

[01:07:19] Like now I just feel worse.

[01:07:21] You know?

[01:07:22] And...

[01:07:24] That's what you're doing, you're just hurting yourself.

[01:07:29] But then when I started looking after myself a bit more

[01:07:32] and training hard,

[01:07:33] it doesn't go away.

[01:07:35] Your feelings of feeling unwanted and unloved

[01:07:38] doesn't go away,

[01:07:39] but you at least feel like

[01:07:43] moments of happiness.

[01:07:45] I find them pockets of happiness.

[01:07:47] Like when I'm at the gym,

[01:07:48] and I feel that way,

[01:07:49] I just train harder.

[01:07:51] And it kind of works.

[01:07:54] Or like something I started doing a lot recently,

[01:07:56] which is quite fun.

[01:07:57] You remember when you were a kid

[01:07:59] and you just wake up early in the morning

[01:08:00] and just have like a ball of cereal

[01:08:02] and watch some cartoons or something.

[01:08:04] So I...

[01:08:05] Hell yeah.

[01:08:06] So I essentially do that most mornings,

[01:08:09] I just wake up,

[01:08:11] maybe I have a ball of oatmeal

[01:08:13] or maybe not.

[01:08:14] And I just watch like some shows

[01:08:17] that I'm watching and wake up

[01:08:18] and that's how I begin my day.

[01:08:20] You know, I'll get what stuff done,

[01:08:22] I'll be productive,

[01:08:23] but that's how I begin my day

[01:08:24] and it's peaceful

[01:08:25] and it's nice.

[01:08:26] And that's self-love.

[01:08:28] Stuff like that.

[01:08:30] Remembering that just because

[01:08:34] you're not loved in the way

[01:08:36] that you want to be loved,

[01:08:37] that doesn't mean you can't love yourself.

[01:08:40] That sounds kind of fucking tragic,

[01:08:43] but it's true, man.

[01:08:45] And it...

[01:08:46] It's tricky for me

[01:08:48] because I feel like I have a correct

[01:08:50] because I always tell my audience

[01:08:51] people that follow me

[01:08:52] like what they should do.

[01:08:54] And I tried to exercise

[01:08:55] the same things,

[01:08:56] but it's hard.

[01:08:58] You know, because I feel so silly sometimes.

[01:09:00] I feel like,

[01:09:01] you know,

[01:09:02] I love myself,

[01:09:03] but then

[01:09:04] I'm very aware of

[01:09:06] like how alone I am

[01:09:08] and how it's been a lifelong thing

[01:09:10] and

[01:09:12] I just so sick of hearing

[01:09:14] like

[01:09:15] it'll come one day

[01:09:17] when you least expect it

[01:09:19] to right around the corner.

[01:09:21] Stop looking.

[01:09:22] That's when you'll find it.

[01:09:23] You know, all of that.

[01:09:24] Like,

[01:09:25] I could do all of that.

[01:09:27] But I don't know, it's true.

[01:09:28] Like every person I heard

[01:09:29] that it's like met someone

[01:09:30] and fallen in love

[01:09:31] and everything's great.

[01:09:33] It pretty much always came

[01:09:34] when they just weren't looking for it

[01:09:36] or like they're just completely disconnected from it.

[01:09:40] And for the most part,

[01:09:41] I do focus on me

[01:09:42] and what I'm doing and stuff

[01:09:43] but

[01:09:44] I'll be honest,

[01:09:45] I do feel immeasurable feelings

[01:09:47] even out of quiss-y

[01:09:48] and

[01:09:50] feelings of failure,

[01:09:52] feelings of

[01:09:54] frustration,

[01:09:56] all of that.

[01:09:57] But I just choose to work on myself constantly

[01:10:02] because I know that

[01:10:04] like the

[01:10:06] alternative is not

[01:10:09] going to change anything.

[01:10:10] Like, I guess I'm

[01:10:12] sort of a pragmatic mind.

[01:10:14] So in my head it's like,

[01:10:15] well,

[01:10:16] sitting and crying about it

[01:10:17] or going to a bar

[01:10:19] or doing something equally self-destructive

[01:10:21] is just not going to make it better.

[01:10:23] It's going to make it worse.

[01:10:24] And then you've only got yourself to blame

[01:10:26] and then that reinforces how bad

[01:10:28] you feel about it

[01:10:29] and it's just a never-ending cycle and spiral.

[01:10:31] So you might as well just do positive stuff

[01:10:35] towards yourself

[01:10:36] and just, I don't know,

[01:10:38] hope for the best.

[01:10:39] And there will be, as I said,

[01:10:40] pockets,

[01:10:41] happy things.

[01:10:43] You know, like I made

[01:10:44] a really good friend recently

[01:10:45] and

[01:10:46] it's been really lovely spending time with them

[01:10:49] and I'm very grateful for that

[01:10:52] and I told them today about,

[01:10:53] like, how grateful I am for that.

[01:10:55] So there are moments of hope.

[01:10:57] There are little things here

[01:10:58] and there

[01:10:59] I don't give up

[01:11:01] 100% love yourself

[01:11:03] and make that

[01:11:05] your main focal point

[01:11:08] of anything.

[01:11:10] Yeah, man.

[01:11:11] It's messy stuff.

[01:11:13] You know,

[01:11:14] I feel the same thing as you do.

[01:11:17] You know, I feel a lot of that

[01:11:20] that is ever-permigrating feeling

[01:11:23] of just not being good enough,

[01:11:24] no matter what you do or who you become.

[01:11:27] And you know, to me,

[01:11:29] I think it's almost a good thing

[01:11:31] to have that

[01:11:32] because you have

[01:11:35] high expectations for yourself

[01:11:38] and you want to do good

[01:11:39] and you want to be better.

[01:11:40] And I've noticed

[01:11:41] that a lot of people

[01:11:42] that have that type of attitude

[01:11:44] also have

[01:11:46] this ever-present feeling

[01:11:48] of not being good enough.

[01:11:49] And you know,

[01:11:50] really

[01:11:51] accentuating their failures.

[01:11:53] And I do the same thing.

[01:11:54] You know, there's

[01:11:55] some days where I think

[01:11:56] like, man,

[01:11:57] I love myself.

[01:11:58] I'm awesome.

[01:11:59] This is fantastic.

[01:12:00] And then other days

[01:12:01] where I'm like,

[01:12:02] man,

[01:12:03] you are a real piece of shit.

[01:12:04] I hate you.

[01:12:05] You know,

[01:12:06] and it's like

[01:12:07] this, it's so weird

[01:12:08] because one day

[01:12:09] can be loved.

[01:12:10] The next day can be hate.

[01:12:11] But it's part

[01:12:12] of the human condition, man.

[01:12:13] And I think it's

[01:12:15] part of the human condition, man.

[01:12:17] And I think it's

[01:12:18] part of acquiring

[01:12:21] emotional intelligence as well.

[01:12:23] You know,

[01:12:24] the farther and farther

[01:12:25] I get along this path, you know,

[01:12:27] the more the repressed things

[01:12:29] come up,

[01:12:30] the more the stuff that I'm trying

[01:12:32] to push down

[01:12:33] and push away

[01:12:34] just brings itself forward.

[01:12:35] You know,

[01:12:36] as you said earlier,

[01:12:37] you know, eventually

[01:12:38] you have to face

[01:12:39] the darkness a lot of times.

[01:12:41] And maybe it is pragmatic

[01:12:44] but the only way to face

[01:12:46] the darkness is with love and light, you know,

[01:12:48] whether it be for yourself,

[01:12:49] whether it be for the people around you.

[01:12:51] And I think the same thing goes for, you know,

[01:12:55] as we were bringing up before

[01:12:56] when people were having

[01:12:57] political debates

[01:12:58] when people are arguing online,

[01:13:00] you know,

[01:13:01] the only way

[01:13:02] to get past those types of

[01:13:03] environment

[01:13:04] and interactions

[01:13:05] are with love

[01:13:06] and with light, you know.

[01:13:07] And I know that

[01:13:09] the reason

[01:13:10] spirituality

[01:13:11] is that

[01:13:12] the reason

[01:13:13] spirituality

[01:13:14] is such an important part of this

[01:13:16] is because a lot of people gain this

[01:13:18] from spiritual practice, you know,

[01:13:20] whether they be,

[01:13:21] you know,

[01:13:22] meditators

[01:13:23] or, you know,

[01:13:24] they're doing psychedelics

[01:13:25] or they're even

[01:13:26] podcasting

[01:13:27] you know, all this stuff.

[01:13:28] To me, these are all

[01:13:29] meditations.

[01:13:30] Doing the dishes

[01:13:31] is meditation to me, you know.

[01:13:32] I find any time that I can

[01:13:35] to be with myself

[01:13:37] to try to love

[01:13:39] myself

[01:13:40] and to have gratitude

[01:13:42] as you brought up earlier, man.

[01:13:43] You know, connection

[01:13:44] and gratitude

[01:13:45] are such important parts

[01:13:47] of these journeys.

[01:13:49] I like washing the dishes too.

[01:13:51] It's like

[01:13:55] weirdly gratifying.

[01:13:57] I think it's because

[01:13:58] it's so easy

[01:13:59] maybe that's why

[01:14:01] and it's like

[01:14:02] instant gratification

[01:14:04] it's like you see

[01:14:05] how clean the dishes

[01:14:07] and it's like

[01:14:09] you've done this thing, you know,

[01:14:11] you put your effort into

[01:14:12] this thing

[01:14:13] and then you see your

[01:14:15] sink empty out

[01:14:16] and it's all nice

[01:14:17] and clean.

[01:14:18] And then the next day

[01:14:19] you go and you grab a bowl

[01:14:20] or something to fill up

[01:14:21] your cereal

[01:14:22] and you're like,

[01:14:23] hell yeah, I did this,

[01:14:24] you know,

[01:14:25] and then you put it in the sink

[01:14:26] and there's only one bowl

[01:14:27] and one spoon in there

[01:14:28] and it feels nice

[01:14:29] because you're

[01:14:30] maintaining your environment

[01:14:32] you know,

[01:14:33] psychologists

[01:14:34] Jordan Peterson

[01:14:35] although he is very

[01:14:36] controversial

[01:14:37] in my opinion,

[01:14:38] he's always

[01:14:40] misunderstood people

[01:14:41] in the history of the world

[01:14:42] but he always

[01:14:43] would say

[01:14:44] before you try to go

[01:14:46] change the world,

[01:14:47] clean your room

[01:14:48] maintain your space

[01:14:50] that's where you start.

[01:14:51] You start with

[01:14:52] the small things

[01:14:53] cleaning your room,

[01:14:54] doing the dishes,

[01:14:55] cooking your food,

[01:14:56] maintaining your life,

[01:14:57] taking a dog for a walk,

[01:14:58] do the things

[01:14:59] that you have to do

[01:15:00] take care of yourself

[01:15:02] and your basic needs

[01:15:04] and then you can begin

[01:15:06] to project your

[01:15:07] political views on the world

[01:15:08] and change it, you know?

[01:15:09] I totally agree.

[01:15:10] It's like what I was saying earlier

[01:15:12] about not being chaotic within

[01:15:14] that's kind of why I was driving out

[01:15:16] with that point.

[01:15:17] It's like,

[01:15:18] like I've noticed

[01:15:20] something which is interesting

[01:15:21] in my life is that

[01:15:22] I'm able to give a lot

[01:15:24] of advice

[01:15:26] and wisdom based on

[01:15:27] what I've gone through

[01:15:28] and experienced

[01:15:29] and I'm quite calm

[01:15:30] to it

[01:15:31] because I've just been

[01:15:32] for it now

[01:15:33] and I'm quite honestly

[01:15:34] quite tired

[01:15:35] of it all.

[01:15:36] I'm just like,

[01:15:37] well, I know what to expect

[01:15:38] and how to deal with it.

[01:15:39] It's fine.

[01:15:40] I'll get for it.

[01:15:41] You know, when there's

[01:15:42] like travel,

[01:15:43] like for instance right now

[01:15:45] I'm struggling to find work

[01:15:46] and so my anxiety kicks in

[01:15:49] and I'm like,

[01:15:50] oh, what am I going to do?

[01:15:51] And then I'm just like

[01:15:52] quietly telling myself

[01:15:53] like listen,

[01:15:54] we've been here before,

[01:15:55] we've been in worst

[01:15:56] situations than this

[01:15:58] and it was fine

[01:15:59] so what are you worrying

[01:16:00] about?

[01:16:01] And then my mind's

[01:16:02] like, oh, well,

[01:16:03] okay, but still

[01:16:04] I'm just like,

[01:16:05] oh, I just get a rest.

[01:16:07] But like I find it's funny

[01:16:09] like I'll be there

[01:16:10] giving that kind of

[01:16:11] advice to other people

[01:16:12] and I'll take it on board

[01:16:14] and it helps

[01:16:15] and they're really thankful

[01:16:16] and it's nice to see that

[01:16:18] but then when it comes to myself

[01:16:20] like, I don't know,

[01:16:22] I just kind of,

[01:16:24] I mean, I don't know,

[01:16:25] I kind of seek advice

[01:16:26] from like a lot

[01:16:27] of different sources,

[01:16:28] actually.

[01:16:30] I found some really good stuff

[01:16:31] online and it kind of

[01:16:32] goes back into what I said

[01:16:33] before about seeking out

[01:16:35] like positive content.

[01:16:37] Like is it stoshisms

[01:16:39] that I say?

[01:16:40] Stochic?

[01:16:42] Stoshism is definitely

[01:16:43] a philosophy.

[01:16:44] Yeah, yeah.

[01:16:45] It's a philosophy to adopt.

[01:16:46] That stuff.

[01:16:47] And also just like positive

[01:16:50] affirmations and good

[01:16:54] like advice from various sources

[01:16:56] I found on YouTube

[01:16:57] about being a better person

[01:16:58] and that stuff helps.

[01:17:01] I try to consume that

[01:17:03] as much as possible

[01:17:05] and just read more.

[01:17:06] Guys, read more.

[01:17:07] Try and take the time

[01:17:09] to read.

[01:17:10] That's really important.

[01:17:12] Yeah, man.

[01:17:13] I like to listen to people

[01:17:14] who can

[01:17:16] describe to you what they've

[01:17:18] done wrong

[01:17:19] and then sort of how

[01:17:20] they transformed

[01:17:22] and also to understand

[01:17:24] like I listened to a lot of

[01:17:25] Rondas

[01:17:26] who was a prominent

[01:17:28] spiritual teacher

[01:17:30] and a big message,

[01:17:33] one of the most integral parts

[01:17:35] of what he talks about is

[01:17:37] that he's still even

[01:17:39] at his highest spiritual

[01:17:41] enlightenment so to speak.

[01:17:43] He still has

[01:17:45] the same neuroses,

[01:17:46] the same issues

[01:17:47] that he's always had.

[01:17:48] You know, he talks about it

[01:17:50] as being

[01:17:52] you know,

[01:17:53] instead of mountains

[01:17:55] he has to climb over.

[01:17:56] His neuroses are now

[01:17:58] like little, little ant hills.

[01:18:00] It's like

[01:18:02] the goal of trying to get rid

[01:18:04] of yourself trying to

[01:18:06] eliminate the things that make you

[01:18:08] who you are,

[01:18:09] whether they be neuroses

[01:18:11] or mental health troubles

[01:18:13] whatever it may be,

[01:18:14] like trying to just

[01:18:15] eliminate that

[01:18:16] from yourself,

[01:18:17] it's almost like a form

[01:18:19] of non-acceptance.

[01:18:20] And I think it's important

[01:18:21] to accept who you are

[01:18:22] in every single way

[01:18:24] and maybe that is

[01:18:26] a good road forward

[01:18:28] to becoming

[01:18:30] who you think you should be,

[01:18:31] becoming a better person,

[01:18:32] becoming more spiritually aware.

[01:18:36] I like this idea of

[01:18:38] yeah, like accepting

[01:18:39] you can't get away from it.

[01:18:41] Like I feel that way

[01:18:42] about my anxiety

[01:18:44] because

[01:18:45] and there are those people

[01:18:46] that say, oh, why don't you

[01:18:47] take pills

[01:18:48] and what you get therapy?

[01:18:49] So I don't want to.

[01:18:50] I can manage it.

[01:18:51] I know how to.

[01:18:52] If I felt the need to

[01:18:53] I would,

[01:18:54] and I would say anyone

[01:18:55] who's going to be a good person

[01:18:57] or who's going to be a good person,

[01:18:59] if you feel

[01:19:00] like you don't have control

[01:19:01] over it,

[01:19:02] go seek help.

[01:19:04] But if you feel

[01:19:05] that you've got

[01:19:06] a control over it,

[01:19:07] it becomes more about, yeah,

[01:19:09] just putting it

[01:19:10] at a bay,

[01:19:11] talking to yourself.

[01:19:13] The relationship

[01:19:14] you have with yourself

[01:19:15] is the most important one

[01:19:16] you can have.

[01:19:17] So you've got to make

[01:19:18] it a good one.

[01:19:19] You've got to make it a

[01:19:20] positive one.

[01:19:21] And you've got to be fair

[01:19:23] and you've got to make it a good one.

[01:19:25] And then the answer is

[01:19:26] what comes.

[01:19:27] But it's like, you know,

[01:19:28] it doesn't happen straight away.

[01:19:30] It is going to be frustrating

[01:19:31] challenging.

[01:19:33] And you're always

[01:19:34] going to have those thoughts as well.

[01:19:36] Like,

[01:19:37] I know I'm not failure.

[01:19:38] I know I've achieved things.

[01:19:40] I know that there's positives

[01:19:42] and I know

[01:19:43] I can see that.

[01:19:44] I feel good

[01:19:45] about things.

[01:19:46] But there's always that voice

[01:19:47] in the back of my head.

[01:19:48] Or I'm going to be

[01:19:49] a good person

[01:19:50] and I'm going to be a good person

[01:19:51] and then I'm going to be a good person.

[01:19:53] There's always that voice in the back of my head.

[01:19:55] Or I'm going to be a good person.

[01:19:56] And I choose to just kind

[01:19:57] of

[01:19:58] ignore it, per say.

[01:20:01] You know, I take on board

[01:20:02] what it has to say and the same way

[01:20:03] I'd take, like,

[01:20:04] construct a process

[01:20:05] of one board.

[01:20:06] But

[01:20:06] to be honest the voice doesn't

[01:20:07] really serve me because a lot

[01:20:08] of the time it's

[01:20:09] like,

[01:20:10] oh, you haven't done this all

[01:20:11] you haven't done this

[01:20:12] and it's like, well,

[01:20:14] when I do start doing some

[01:20:16] of those things suddenly

[01:20:17] that voice is

[01:20:18] really fucking silent

[01:20:19] And it's like, well, come on.

[01:20:22] Be vocal, whatever you've got nothing to say.

[01:20:25] And of course, because it's supposed

[01:20:26] to be a negative voice, it's supposed

[01:20:28] to be something that's driving you away.

[01:20:29] It's fear driven.

[01:20:32] It's not interested in success or you achieving your goals.

[01:20:36] It's just trying to stop you from being the best version

[01:20:38] of yourself.

[01:20:40] And that's kind of like the key in all of this.

[01:20:43] It's just trying to push that voice aside

[01:20:48] and just do it anyway.

[01:20:50] I'm sure you've had someone turn around to you in your life

[01:20:52] and tell you, you can't do this.

[01:20:54] I mean, are you going to listen to them?

[01:20:57] Or are you going to do it anyway?

[01:20:59] And same thing.

[01:21:01] When you don't listen to them and you do it

[01:21:04] and you go up to them, you're like, oh, look, I did it.

[01:21:07] They got nothing to say.

[01:21:09] Or maybe they'll be flipping it and be like, oh,

[01:21:11] the fluke, whatever, man.

[01:21:15] Fuck it.

[01:21:16] Just do it.

[01:21:17] Yeah, man.

[01:21:19] Anxiety, these intrusive negative thoughts

[01:21:23] to me, they're like alarm bells.

[01:21:26] They're parts of yourself that are trying

[01:21:28] to communicate a need that's not being served.

[01:21:32] And it's your responsibility.

[01:21:34] Or in my case, I feel it's my responsibility

[01:21:36] to adopt those parts of myself that have unmet needs

[01:21:41] and give them love and give them understanding

[01:21:44] and try to meet them where they are.

[01:21:47] And even if it's irrational, I try

[01:21:49] to love that part of myself and say, what is it that you need?

[01:21:52] What am I not providing for you?

[01:21:53] How can I help?

[01:21:55] How can I adopt all the parts of me

[01:21:58] and create a more whole being within myself?

[01:22:02] Yeah.

[01:22:03] I started addressing that more recently.

[01:22:05] Like, I mentioned being alone

[01:22:08] and then like how I struggle with that.

[01:22:10] Well, I take more risks.

[01:22:12] I try to befriend people and stuff.

[01:22:15] I try to go on more dates, you know?

[01:22:19] Like I said, I wasn't going to do that.

[01:22:21] But fuck it, man.

[01:22:23] What do you stand to lose?

[01:22:25] It's always pretty good when you end up doing it

[01:22:28] and end up trying.

[01:22:30] You know, and even if it's a failure,

[01:22:31] like I feel like the bigger failure is to not try.

[01:22:34] That's always the bigger feeling.

[01:22:36] So many people you meet that just won't try things.

[01:22:39] And they're like, why?

[01:22:41] Stopping you and I'm afraid.

[01:22:42] Like, I remember I was doing these acting classes

[01:22:45] the beginning of the year

[01:22:46] and there was a guy in my class who was brilliant.

[01:22:49] Really funny, really like, you know?

[01:22:52] Clearly you've been studying a while.

[01:22:54] And I remember talking to him before class one day

[01:22:57] and I was just, you know, shooting the shit

[01:22:59] and I was like, oh, this is what I've been applying for

[01:23:02] and I asked him, like, what have you applied for recently?

[01:23:06] And he just kind of stunned me, looked at me

[01:23:08] and he was like, oh, I haven't applied for anything.

[01:23:10] And I was like, why?

[01:23:13] And he was just basically just said,

[01:23:16] like I just don't have the confidence in myself to do it.

[01:23:19] And I'm like, but you're so good.

[01:23:21] Like you're really talented.

[01:23:22] Like, it was, I mean, he was clearly thankful

[01:23:27] to hear that, but I don't know.

[01:23:28] Like he was also very honest, which I admired.

[01:23:32] Like he felt like he wasn't good enough to try just yet.

[01:23:37] But it's like,

[01:23:40] you kind of just got to ignore that voice

[01:23:44] and just, as I say before, I don't repeat myself

[01:23:47] but just try anyway.

[01:23:48] Especially when you're in the beginning stages

[01:23:49] or something, like when people go like,

[01:23:52] oh, I can't do it because I'm not very good.

[01:23:53] It's like, well, of course you're not very good.

[01:23:55] You've never done it before.

[01:23:57] You know, go back and listen to the first episodes

[01:23:59] that me and Josh did of our shows.

[01:24:02] It's probably not that good.

[01:24:03] I mean, I think probably mine was worse than yours.

[01:24:06] I don't know about that, man.

[01:24:08] Oh, I just...

[01:24:10] My mind was never really worse.

[01:24:13] But no, but like it's, you know,

[01:24:15] you hit your stride after a while, don't you?

[01:24:18] But at some point, you sat down

[01:24:20] and I'm gonna give this a go.

[01:24:22] And you just keep trying.

[01:24:23] And you keep trying.

[01:24:25] I, listen, I don't even get rejections.

[01:24:27] I just get, I ignored.

[01:24:29] So it's just almost worse than getting rejected.

[01:24:32] Be it women auditions,

[01:24:37] you know, email as a sendout, you know, whatever, man.

[01:24:41] But I'm still gonna try anyway

[01:24:43] because why wouldn't you just, you know,

[01:24:48] you're never gonna know unless you try?

[01:24:51] Yeah, I love that, man.

[01:24:52] And you know, something else that I think is

[01:24:55] one of the more important things

[01:24:57] that we haven't really spoke much about

[01:25:00] is getting to the gym like you were saying

[01:25:03] a little bit earlier.

[01:25:03] Man, working out, getting yourself in shape

[01:25:06] is it's such a game changer when it comes to confidence

[01:25:10] and self-worth.

[01:25:11] So how has that been working out for you?

[01:25:13] I know you've been working out for quite a while now

[01:25:15] and I've been seeing your progress and it's fantastic.

[01:25:17] Thanks, man.

[01:25:21] I sent to a PT friend of mine the other day

[01:25:23] that like for me it's a lifestyle.

[01:25:25] It's part of life now.

[01:25:27] It's not, I've trained in the past,

[01:25:30] you know, it's not the first time

[01:25:31] but when I chose to this time it was like,

[01:25:34] okay, I'm gonna approach this in a way

[01:25:36] I've never approached before.

[01:25:38] I'm just gonna like give it my all,

[01:25:40] I'm gonna go several times a week

[01:25:41] I'm gonna listen to any advice I get.

[01:25:44] I'm just gonna really give it my all

[01:25:46] and I'm gonna get serious with the diet too

[01:25:48] because the diet is the most important thing guys.

[01:25:52] But also the consistency,

[01:25:54] I think a lot of people get caught up in like,

[01:25:56] oh, I need to like go gym two hours every four days

[01:26:00] a week no you don't.

[01:26:01] Like you can go like half an hour two or three times a week

[01:26:05] and that'll achieve the same thing.

[01:26:07] It's consistency and discipline.

[01:26:11] That and pushing yourself,

[01:26:13] you know, yes it's gonna be hard

[01:26:15] it's gonna be painful, it's gonna be tough.

[01:26:18] And to be honest it's about understanding that every,

[01:26:21] see that's the thing,

[01:26:22] gym is so good because it's a metaphor for life.

[01:26:25] Like when you're there, when you're doing stuff

[01:26:27] like everything has life lessons in it.

[01:26:29] You just see them constantly over and over and over again

[01:26:33] and like if not that,

[01:26:36] when you read about it, when you read

[01:26:39] all these people that used to be bodybuilders

[01:26:40] or still are like they're all real philosophers.

[01:26:44] They're all, you know, they've learned a lot

[01:26:46] because gym teaches you about life

[01:26:49] because of course it does.

[01:26:50] It's you're working on yourself

[01:26:53] and through self improvement

[01:26:54] you learn so much about life in yourself

[01:26:57] the importance of consistency and discipline

[01:26:59] and strength and overcoming weakness

[01:27:03] and what weakness really means

[01:27:05] because I think people misunderstand that as well.

[01:27:08] I think people think our weakness

[01:27:09] that just means I'm not strong, it's like

[01:27:11] now weakness is to do with like eliminating this belief

[01:27:16] in your mind that you can't do something.

[01:27:21] You can do it and you will do it but it's a journey.

[01:27:26] It's not a sprint, it's not a race.

[01:27:29] It's a marathon which is technically a type of race

[01:27:32] but it's a really slow race.

[01:27:40] It's given me so much.

[01:27:42] It's, I think the biggest thing is given me

[01:27:45] as a sense of confidence that I didn't have previously

[01:27:50] and it has nothing to do with like how I look

[01:27:52] sure I like it, I like looking better, feeling better

[01:27:56] of course but everyone I know that goes gym

[01:27:59] and has done for a long time

[01:28:01] will tell you the same thing is that

[01:28:03] it did wonders for their mental health.

[01:28:05] You know I look on the boards

[01:28:09] in the gym I go to and there's all these like

[01:28:10] adverts for the people that work there

[01:28:12] that have also PT's

[01:28:14] and they all mention in their blurbs

[01:28:16] like oh this helped my mental health

[01:28:18] or I did this for mental health

[01:28:19] but they all put it there

[01:28:21] and yeah you can argue that's like part of marketing

[01:28:23] you know they're trying to factor that in

[01:28:25] but I can tell when I talk to my friend

[01:28:27] like you can hear it, you can tell

[01:28:31] that it means something on a deeper level

[01:28:35] and it's fun man.

[01:28:37] It's kind of addictive.

[01:28:39] You gotta be careful just like anything else

[01:28:42] but I think it teaches you a lot about yourself.

[01:28:46] I think it's taught me that I'm stronger than I realized.

[01:28:53] I think it's taught me about the nature of patience

[01:28:59] and discipline and what that really means.

[01:29:01] You don't get the results straight away.

[01:29:04] You know even this like this podcast game

[01:29:06] that we're on now, like you know

[01:29:07] I was told about a year ago

[01:29:09] like some show I went on.

[01:29:11] I told them that I've been doing it

[01:29:12] like two and a half years at that point

[01:29:14] and they were like wow that's pretty new.

[01:29:17] All things concerned and I was like really?

[01:29:19] And they're like yeah

[01:29:20] and this show has been going like five years

[01:29:22] before they even approach anything

[01:29:25] and I was stunned to hear that

[01:29:27] because I've done like hundreds of episodes

[01:29:29] and it's been going years

[01:29:30] and I kind of just sat there

[01:29:32] and was like oh I guess my show will never make it, you know

[01:29:35] but it's like to be fair

[01:29:36] there's just so much competition

[01:29:38] there's so many people out there doing the same thing

[01:29:41] but the thing that stands out

[01:29:44] the thing that will actually bring you the results

[01:29:47] and bring you the progress

[01:29:48] and this is where the connection back into Jim is

[01:29:51] is through consistency and keeping on doing it

[01:29:55] and never stopping doing it.

[01:29:57] That's what will bring results

[01:30:00] and with the theme of like things never ending

[01:30:05] that we were talking about earlier

[01:30:06] like Jim is limitless, it'll never end.

[01:30:09] There's no day that you walk in there

[01:30:11] and you work and you're like okay I'm done now

[01:30:13] that's it, I've completed Jim

[01:30:14] like it doesn't work that way

[01:30:16] that you achieve your goals

[01:30:18] and then you're like oh wow, what more can I do?

[01:30:21] And then it's like

[01:30:24] it's almost like having a game of yourself

[01:30:26] like how far can I take this?

[01:30:27] What can I achieve?

[01:30:28] Like you know some days are walking there

[01:30:31] and I lift a lot heavier

[01:30:32] other days I lift not as heavy

[01:30:37] I don't have to be patient

[01:30:38] and accept that sometimes I have less energy

[01:30:40] if I tweak something I'm like hmm stop

[01:30:43] we're not gonna exercise anymore, you know

[01:30:46] like learning to be careful

[01:30:48] or not push things and no one to like pull back, you know

[01:30:51] it's I gotta go on all day about what I learned from the Jim

[01:30:55] but it's given me a lot spiritually and mentally

[01:31:01] and I think when you try to internalize it

[01:31:06] it's something that's part of your life

[01:31:08] unless a thing you have to do

[01:31:11] then it's much more positive.

[01:31:14] I like going to Jim, I look forward to it's fun.

[01:31:18] Sometimes it does feel a bit like

[01:31:20] I don't wanna go today

[01:31:21] but often those ironically tend to be the best sessions

[01:31:26] because they I think because they feel

[01:31:27] more gratifying after you've done them

[01:31:29] because you remember the fact

[01:31:30] that you didn't initially wanna go

[01:31:32] but you do go in phases sometimes

[01:31:35] you aren't as interested, you need to break

[01:31:38] come back to it, you'll invigorate it again

[01:31:42] it's kind of the same as anything else

[01:31:44] spend time away from someone you love

[01:31:45] you're gonna miss them like crazy when you see them

[01:31:47] you know, it's just the way things are

[01:31:49] you know be patient

[01:31:53] and it'll be a real positive in your life.

[01:31:57] Yeah man any journey is

[01:31:59] you know it's meant to be taken one step at a time

[01:32:03] and as long as you're doing something

[01:32:05] to better yourself today, you know

[01:32:07] to make yourself a better person than you were yesterday

[01:32:11] that's what the journey is all about man

[01:32:12] and looks like our journey here today

[01:32:16] is coming to a close.

[01:32:18] It's been a great conversation man

[01:32:21] I love going deep with you.

[01:32:23] Can you tell people where they can find you?

[01:32:25] Sure man, firstly I just wanna say massive thank you

[01:32:28] for having me in the show again

[01:32:30] I really love what you do here

[01:32:32] I really respect it

[01:32:34] and I want you to keep getting it

[01:32:36] because I think it's brilliant

[01:32:37] and of course all your listlers know that

[01:32:39] but I just wanted to let you know

[01:32:41] that that's, you know

[01:32:42] I really admire what you do

[01:32:43] and I really respect it I think you're brilliant.

[01:32:46] I appreciate that so much man

[01:32:47] and I feel exactly the same about you

[01:32:50] you know I look to you in your show

[01:32:52] as inspiration and motivation

[01:32:55] because I think you're such a great interviewer

[01:32:58] such a great speaker

[01:33:00] and I really just, I appreciate what you do as well man.

[01:33:03] Right back at you

[01:33:05] You can find me

[01:33:08] if you just search like Christian, PK, Reeve online

[01:33:11] you can pretty much find everything

[01:33:13] but I do have like a link tree

[01:33:16] and a YouTube account, podcast

[01:33:19] I'm sure Josh will put the links in the description

[01:33:22] but that's the main places you can find me

[01:33:25] of the shows that I do

[01:33:26] there's the Christian Reeve podcast

[01:33:28] I also do a show on my Patreon

[01:33:30] at patreon.com slash Christian Reeve

[01:33:33] called Life with Christian Reeve

[01:33:35] where if you like the sound of my voice

[01:33:37] that's the show for you

[01:33:39] and it's just like sharing life stories from my life

[01:33:43] or going deep dives on certain topics and whatnot

[01:33:47] and the podcast is more just kind of like interviews,

[01:33:50] sharing life stories, deep dives on topics

[01:33:53] with wonderful people like Josh, for example

[01:33:56] where we explored was it life after death,

[01:33:59] near death experiences

[01:34:01] and we're gonna do a show very, very soon on UFOs.

[01:34:06] I'm excited for that one, it's a cool topic.

[01:34:10] Yeah man, thank you so much for having me man

[01:34:12] it's been absolutely honor.

[01:34:14] Yeah thank you so much for coming on man

[01:34:16] I appreciate you.

[01:34:23] I'm so excited for you.

[01:34:24] I'm so excited for you.

[01:34:25] I'm so excited for you.

[01:34:26] I'm so excited for you.

[01:34:27] I'm so excited for you.

[01:34:28] I'm so excited for you.

[01:34:29] I'm so excited for you.

[01:34:30] I'm so excited for you.

[01:34:31] I'm so excited for you.

[01:34:32] I'm so excited for you.

[01:34:33] I'm so excited for you.

[01:34:34] I'm so excited for you.

[01:34:35] I'm so excited for you.

[01:34:36] I'm so excited for you.

[01:34:37] I'm so excited for you.

[01:34:38] I'm so excited for you.

[01:34:39] I'm so excited for you.

[01:34:40] I'm so excited for you.

[01:34:41] I'm so excited for you.

[01:34:42] I'm so excited for you.

[01:34:43] I'm so excited for you.

[01:34:44] I'm so excited for you.

[01:34:45] I'm so excited for you.

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[01:34:50] I'm so excited for you.

[01:34:51] I'm so excited for you.

[01:34:52] I'm so excited for you.

[01:34:53] I'm so excited for you.

[01:34:54] I'm so excited for you.

[01:34:55] I'm so excited for you.

[01:34:56] I'm so excited for you.

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[01:35:00] I'm so excited for you.

[01:35:01] I'm so excited for you.

[01:35:02] I'm so excited for you.

[01:35:03] I'm so excited for you.

[01:35:04] I'm so excited for you.

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[01:35:35] I'm so excited for you.

[01:35:37] I'm so excited for you.

[01:35:39] I'm so excited for you.